Lost
by TheGreenDude
Summary: He doesn't know what hes going to do, he just knows something has to change. First story ever so flame on! charactor death way later in the story, and mentions of self-harm
1. Chapter 1

_why did the sun have to be this bright this early in the morning?_

Beast Boy thought to himself. _The hell with it, might as well get up and do something, since i'm not going to be getting anymore sleep anyway._

He groggily got out of bed, looked around at the mess that he called his domain. He grabbed a shirt and pants off the floor not bothering to see if it smelled better than his room, cause he new better. There was no getting that smell out of anything, including a skunk. That was when the scent wafted past his nose. He thought he smelt lavender, old books, and brimstone. He'd never told anybody that he smelt that last one coming from his favorite , but he knew that smell. _Why was she in my room?_ he thought. _She can't stand the smell or the clutter in here, let alone me. hmmm, something's up, maybe she is actually starting to like me?_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" He laughed at himself for that one. there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that would ever happen.

He was distracted as he clamored down the hall not even knowing what time it was.he just hoped his best friend had finished cooking his mounds of meat before he got even close to the kitchen. he wanted no arguing today due to not sleeping well for the past several days. his nightmare seemed to be getting worse, the same one over and over that the only change was the death of the one person he cared about more than life itself. not that he would ever tell a living soul about how he felt, not even if his life depended on it. she hated him, there was no doubt about it. but watching her die in his arms every night in more and more horrifying ways, was really getting to him making him wonder if he should just leave and go back to the Doom Patrol, so that he would not feel this way anymore.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts about what to do, that he actually walked the whole way into the common room, right through it, and out the open window on the other side. "Wait, why is the wind so loud in the hallway?" He said to no-one in particular. That was when he realized what was going on. _maybe this will hurt less than continuing on._ He thought. _nah, i've never been one to give up that easily._ as he turned into a fly and went back up to the open window.

"Did he just do what i think he did?" Robin asked with one eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Yup" was the only response from the (in Beast Boy's opinion) resident dark angel/demoness/sorceress/empath/shy goth.

Robin just shook his head and turned back to the newspaper he was reading. Beast Boy changed back into his (somewhat) human form, not even realizing that there was no smell of meat products, no sign of cyborg, or starfire for that matter and that meant he was up a lot earlier than he thought he should be. he knew he could only take so much of this before he broke, but he was determined to never let it show.

"up early for any particular reason?" robin asked in that voice that suggested he knew more than you thought he did.

Beast Boy jumped out of his skin and screamed like a little girl as he heard his leader's voice not realizing he had noticed him yet. "yeah just thought i would get an early start on today, and the nocturnal animals in me were restless for some reason." he said as he was rubbing the back of his neck. trying not to look at the empath, he knew she knew he was lying, but all he would have to do was annoy her again to throw her off his trail. again. for the 2733rd time. and he was running out of ideas.

He was sure robin was going to push him to get the answers he wanted, knowing he wasn't even very convincing to their fearless leader, but just then, the alarm went off.


	2. Chapter 2

So here is the next update, i'm updating when i get the chance, with my work schedule, there's no telling how often i can get these up, but it will be as soon as they are written they will be going up.

I don't own anything that could even remotely make me famous (like the Teen Titans) although i do own my ideas and plots. I don't think anybody has thought of this one yet, at least that i've seen. On to chapter two, enjoy

"Its Dr. Light again." Robin said without a trace of a smile. Beast Boy heard the door slide open with a whoosh and the sound of the heavy metallic foot-thumps (for there was no way those could be mistaken for mere feet abusing the floor on which they trod) of cyborg rushing into the room followed by a beautiful alien princess.

Not as beautiful as my dark angel though.Beast Boy thought to himself. stop it! i need to focus on kicking butt and taking names.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw raven eyeing him with a questioning look, but he was doing his absolute best to ignore it.

"Alright team, head out, hopefully this will be a short fight and we will be back in time to get started on the new training program me and Cy have been working on." robin threw at them as he was heading for the door to the garage. the only response he got was grumbling. But they followed anyway knowing it didn't do any good to complain, it actually made it worse in his opinion.

They had all agreed a few months back to all take the same vehicle to fights with the exception of Beast Boy to make sure that everybody made it there at the same time. The only reason BB didn't have to join them in the car was due to the fact that he did recon from the air as a falcon and stayed in communication with the rest through Raven's newly acquired power of telepathy when the other participant is willing. and at the current moment, Beast Boy was not willing at all. he wasn't about to let his thoughts about her even slip through that connection. what he did do however was keep a close eye out for any indication that they were getting close to the target. in this case a jewelry store, that has recently been boasting about the new line of diamonds they had acquired, and had for sale at no small cost.

as he approached the store front, he noticed that there wasn't a single person to be seen for blocks. uh-oh, that can't be good. he thought. so he dropped from the sky and changed back, pulling his communicator out of his pocket, idly wondering where it went when he changed forms, and called Robin.

"Dude, something's weird. there isn't anybody on the streets for forever, and my instincts are telling me to find a rock to hide under."

"We are just around the corner from you, hold tight till i can get a better feel for what is going on." robin replied.

"And don't go hiding under rocks as a T-Rex, like you did playing hide and seek, nobody would mistake you for a statue." Cyborg added

"please, his smell alone would make it easy for anybody with a working nose to find him. or anybody with a nose at all for that matter." Yup she hated him.

he closed his communicator, and looked around the corner to see if anything had changed. and boy had things changed. he was hit by a blinding light and a sound so loud it would have made a normal person cry in pain, but to his over-sensitive ears it was like somebody fired off a cannon right next to his head. oh that's so rude, using a flashbang before the witty banter even starts? isn't that how this guy operates? trying to bore us to death with his lame jokes before we send raven to scare the daylights (literally) out of him, then haul his sorry rear end off to jail? so what changed? he thought to himself as he went reeling backwards down the street away from his attacker.

he felt a hand on his shoulder just as his vision was starting to come back, (but his hearing would be severely hampered for a few days.) he growled at whoever had touched him, not knowing if friend or foe. the hand was instantly gone, but he now felt a pressure on his mind, which could only mean one thing. he just growled at the best thing that had ever happened to him. he tried not to let the guilt from his actions seep through the connection as he felt her calming presence in his mind.

there aren't any windows around, but i'm pretty sure a wall would do. what was that about? i just asked a question. he heard in his head.

i can't hear or see straight right now, he got me with one of his stupid toys, before i could do anything.

So you tried taking him down by yourself? i knew there wasn't much between your ears, but seriously? he could feel the sarcasm in her thoughts, but it still stung.

No, i took another look around the corner so i could see if he was on the move yet, when bam, he got me.

his vision started clearing to the point he could actually see her, but where was everybody else? he spun around looking to see if he was missing something, but not seeing anybody else. he looked back to her with a questioning look on his face, and he could see her lips moving, but didn't hear anything. the funny thing was, it wasn't like the other times he had just zoned out wondering what it would be like to hold her in his arms. no this was he couldn't hear anything except the ringing. that was when the T-car came sliding around the corner, he could see the smoke coming from the tires, but again, no sound. oh this is going to be fun. he thought to himself.

you still can't hear? might want to sit this one out and let me handle him, as i'm the only one he fears.

he could see robin's lips moving asking something, and raven replying, but what they were saying was beyond him. he looked at the other two as Starfire gasped, and Cyborg was beside himself with laughter. now he was getting frustrated and was about to just storm around the corner, when everybody turned to look farther down the street. oh what now? he thought as he turned. there stood Dr. Light, in what looked like a new power suit. he was talking. Beast boy could tell that much, but that was it.

"what?" Beast Boy yelled. not even being able to hear his own voice.

"..." more lip movement, no sound.

"Dude, you would think he was trying out for some lip-sync concert or something, the way he's going." Beast Boy tried to whisper, but said loud enough for everybody to hear.

why are you mocking him when you can't even hear what he is saying? he heard in his head, with an almost echo.

That's exactly why. he fired the first round, i can't hear, therefore i'm going to get him angry, because he doesn't fight as well angry. He replied.

Why not leave the taunting to somebody who is actually funny then? that stung more than a little to feel the honesty in her voice. but just as he was going to make a comeback about how funny he was the battle started without him. kind of.


	3. Chapter 3

here is chapter 3,

hope you enjoy

as usual i don't own anything

He was flying backwards, he knew that much. That, and his chest hurt. badly. at least he thought he hurt badly until he hit the light pole half a block away from where he was standing before. _That's what i get for getting distracted. again._ he thought as he was shaking his head trying to get the world to stop spinning. As soon as he could see clearly, he knew they were all in trouble. Cyborg, Robin and Starfire were in those stupid force-bubbles. Cyborg was busy blasting away at it with his cannon, Starfire was trying to slice through it with her eye lasers, and Robin was hitting it with his bo-staff. Raven was the only one still in the fight, and it wasn't looking good.

Beast Boy knew she wouldn't be able to hold against him by herself forever, so even though he still couldn't hear, he changed into a raptor and launched himself straight towards this twig of an idiot, even though he could hardly breathe through the pain in his chest from that last hit he took. He didn't care. he knew she was in trouble, and would do whatever it took to keep her safe….. Even if she did hate him.

As he was about to clamp his jaws down on the chest plate of the power-suit, he was blasted on the side of the head with a light encased fist, throwing his back against the building, and slamming his head against something hard for the umpteenth time today. _I know everybody says there isn't much up there, but it still hurts!_ He thought as he felt a trickle of blood down the back of his head. _And there is no way i'm letting her heal me after this, it would cause her pain, and i won't do that to her. she knows that the only way shes healing me anymore, is if i'm out cold, and can't object. i mean, why didn't she ever tell us that she takes the pain into herself when she heals us? That's just rude._ he was getting lost in his own thoughts again, when a cry of anguish brought him back to reality.

what he saw scared him to death. Dr. light had blinded Rae with a flash bang and was powering up his suit to deal a death blow to her. _Oh hell no!_ he thought as he ran to try and distract the villain long enough for his Rae-Rae to recover. just as he was drawing close to his target, he realized there was no time to make it all they way there before the villain discharged enough energy to fry a full blooded demon, let alone _his_ half-blooded demon. _did i really just think of her as_ mine _?_ Which would probably be one of his last coherent thoughts for awhile, as he saw the beam of pure energy flying straight at his chest. _this is gonna hurt…...again._ that was the exact moment he sensed something else coming towards him from the exact opposite direction. He knew what it was as soon as it was unleashed. he also knew that there was no way for him to get out of the way of either beam of energy, both light and dark, before they hit him. _at least she's safe._ he thought as both beams struck at the same instant from opposite sides of his body, his chest taking another hit from Dr. Light, and his spine taking a direct hit from Raven's dark energy. the last thing he heard (and was amazed that some of his hearing was back) and felt inside of his mind was Raven screaming

" _NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"_ full of sorrow and pain, but he couldn't comfort her, as the black void of his mind swallowed him whole. _i love you Rae, please don't be mad._ he had known for a long time how he felt about her, but until that moment he didn't believe it himself, until that moment, he thought it only a crush, until that moment, he thought he was not worthy of her. until that moment he thought he could never love anybody. and in that moment, he knew, he didn't stand a chance of hiding it anymore.

I know its not much, but my next updates will be quite i bit longer, i was planning on having this in the last chapter, but it was getting too long. i have the whole story planned out, i just have to find the time to get it all down. So if you are willing to stick with me through to the end, and i mean the end of the series, i have two sequels planned, so dont hate me at the end of this one. and no im not even close to being done with this one. thanks everybody for reading this and i hope you are enjoying it.


	4. Chapter 4

_Garfield, please wake up._

"I'm up, I'm up." He replied sleepily.

His bed was comfortable. almost too much so. that was the first thing he noticed as he felt sleep receding. the second was that he wasn't in any pain. which considering the last thing he remembered, was nothing short of a miracle. _Rae must have healed me completely. i hope she's not hurting too much from this one. i_ really _need to find something nice for her now._ He thought with a pang of guilt.

He figured it was time to get up and face the inevitable, so he grabbed the nearest outfit and threw it on as he was heading out the door. He entered the common room to see Starfire cooking something on the stove, Robin sitting at the counter reading the paper with a cup of coffee in his hand, and Cy sitting on the couch playing single player on some new game he got the week before. The one person he was hoping to avoid for awhile, at least until he could figure out what to get her, was nowhere to be seen.

 _Ok, maybe she's meditating in her room, or reading, or just thinking of ways to tear me a new one after what happened._ he thought absently.

"morning friend Beast Boy!" Star greeted from her location by the stove.

"Morning star."

Robin just raised his mug in greetings, but didn't turn his eyes from his reading. Beast Boy ventured over to the couch not really interested in playing a game with cy, but more of just a way to not standing around.

"Dude, what am i going to get her to thank her this time?" he said almost in a whisper to Cy.

"Aw, does my little green buddy want to be more than friends with a certain someone?" Cyborg singsonged back.

"Um, Cy? Isn't she like a little sister to you?"

"she could be, but i never met her until you brought her around, she is cute, though, for a blonde that is."

Beast boy was lost on that last one, as he only ever liked one blonde, and she was _not_ to be brought up, not even teasingly from them. they knew that. so why now? was it just because Rae wasn't here? Hopefully not.

"Bring her up again, and i will switch all your meat with tofu and you would never be able to tell the difference." Beast boy said without the barest hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Dude, chill, i was only pointing out that i think she likes you." Cy said defensively. "Wait, did something happen that i should be aware of?"

"Nevermind. Where's Rae anyway? She's not mad at me again, is she?"

"Who?" Cy asked absently as his attention had returned to the game.

"you know, Raven, the dark empath that likes to throw me out windows, threatens to send me to another dimension, reads stuffy old books, and meditates, a lot." He said, making sure he didn't say anything too obvious.

"who is this Raven of which you speak of, friend Beast boy? is it a pet like Silky you have tamed to help wake you in the hours of the morning?" Star asked innocently.

"Um, Star, a raven doesn't wake you in the morning, usually it's a rooster that is known to do that." Robin added before things could get out of hand.

 _Or a robin in our case._ he added in his head knowing not to say it aloud.

"Actually, i'm rather curious now, who are you talking about? i don't remember anybody by that name. although i could look through some old case files if you could give me a discription. Or at least better than: wants to kick your butt, reads, and meditates." he said as he counted the last three off using his fingers.

"Haha, very funny guys, good prank Rae, but it's not working." he said as everybody looked at him in confusion.

He knew Star would be the first one to break, she couldn't stay out of character long enough to pull a prank that took longer than thirty seconds. but looking in her eyes, he knew. they didn't know who Raven was. He was the only one. he had to find her, to prove to the others-, that's when it hit him. he went racing out of the common room straight for her room. _I got you all now, she is probably just waiting behin-_

As her door slide open, he was confronted with an empty spare bedroom. it had a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a normal ordinary mirror on the wall.

He took a deep breath to smell her scent, to try and follow it, even if she teleported it all to another room, her scent would be strongest here. all he got was the faintest whiff, as if she hadn't been here for months.

He went back to the common room dejected, plopped down on the couch and stared out the window wondering what had happened to his dark angel. no one spoke to him, everybody was waiting for him to speak first, he never did. as nightfall approached, everybody started going their own directions, mostly bed he new, but he couldn't bring himself to go back into his own for some reason.

He passed out on the couch after some time. Entering dreams, he knew he wasn't going to like.

He felt the pain. pain in his chest that felt like he had been hit with a wreckingball. _Garfield, you stay with me, don't give up on me, not now! we are getting you help as fast as we can. Please just wake up._

He shot up wide awake on the couch with the sun streaming through the front windows. _It was just a dream. Just a dream. Not real. It couldn't be._ His dreams lately always included Raven dying in his arms before he could tell her how he felt. but this one was different. this one, he was dying. and it felt like if he had stayed much longer, he just might have made the final journey. but one thing kept ringing in his ears: _Please wake up._ he knew it was his angels voice, but why did it sound full of sorrow and pain? he really didn't want to think about it, so he jumped out the open window turning into a raven. he just needed to fly for a while to clear his head.


	5. Chapter 5

He flew on and on. he let his mind wander, but it stayed blank, except for one thing: his dark angels voice _begging_ him to wake up. Before he could really start to think it through, he heard a scream from somewhere below. he dropped to a rooftop before changing to his human form to call for backup. "Robin, come in, we have a situation downtown." he said while surveying the scene below.

"Beast boy, why are you up this early? whats going on?" he replied with a smirk on his face.

"Cinderblock is rampaging, and it looks like he has hostages this time."

"Stay put, we are on the way. don't do anything stupid." he said as he signed off.

 _as if i could do anything_ **but** _according to some._ he thought sourly.

As he was overlooking the scene again, he saw that both hostages were female, most likely teenagers from what he could tell, one with blonde hair, and the other…..

the other had amethyst hair and a pale complexion. He only knew of one being in any universe with that combination (that wasn't goth or ginger trying to hide from the sunlight) and that was Rae.

 _The hell with Robin, i'm not leaving her to fight him on her own._ he thought as he flung himself off the roof in the form of a hummingbird. but before he could make it close enough to do anything, Starfire caught him in mid-air, dragging him around a building not too far away.

"Dude, thats Rae out there! what are you doing?" he exclaimed as he shifted back.

"We fight as a team, no ifs ands or buts about it Beast Boy." Robin stated.

"What about you and your obsession with slade?" Beastboy shot back.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, i have never even heard of this slade you speak of, or Raven for that matter. I don't know what is wrong with you, or what is going on with you, but you need to pull yourself together and figure it out later. for now we have to people to save." Robin snapped.

They ran around the corner as one to take out cinderblock to a sight that left them all dumbstruck. Cinder Block was on his back, with several street lamps wrapped around his chest holding his arms tight at his side. The blonde was staggering to her feet a dozen or so feet from the oversized walking rock. The only person missing from the scene was the dark sorceress.

As Beast Boy went to run after her, the blonde threw her arms around his neck.

"My hero!" She exclaimed.

"Let go." He said in a low growl, not a threat, but a warning.

She did and slowly backed away, but Beast Boy wasn't paying that much attention to her at this point. he couldn't let Rae get away without an explanation. (or at least throwing him off a roof.) He heard _**Terra**_ behind him asking the others a question he didn't bother listening to. He followed her scent, knowing it was so ingrained into his thoughts, he could find her through an overcrowded mall in a volcano. so following her down this dark alley wasn't a challenge at all.

That was until he realized her scent just went from in front of him, to directly behind him. he knew she could move as silently as a ninja when she wanted to, but his hearing _always_ alerted him to her movements. except when she ported. Now that was as quiet as a shadow sliding across the moon in the middle of the night. _Man i really gotta stop watching those old detective movies._ he thought as he turned around to come nose to nose with his dark angel.

"Hi Rae, you OK?"

"Chel. and why do you care?" she responded with that trademarked (honestly, it should be.) deadpan look.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"Why do you care if i'm ok?"

"That's not what i'm confused about, the first part, what did it mean?"

"My name. Its Rachel. Not Rae. And you still haven't answered me. you don't know me, you don't owe me anything, so why are you asking if i'm ok, especially when the fan club of yours is out there in light?" She said, with venom in her words towards the end.

"I-... I d-do-dont want to be out there with them, i want to be here with you. i know you hate me, but you mean more to me than anything else." he replied almost pleadingly.

she rolled her eyes, "Fine, don't tell me, i can understand when i'm getting made fun of. that's why i stay to myself." she replied as she turned to walk away.

Beast Boy couldn't let her go thinking he was making fun of her. yes he pulled pranks, yes he joked too much, but never made fun of someone like that. never.

He grabbed her wrist before she could get away and ignore him, when he was trying to make sure she was alright. But before he could even open his mouth to say anything, he hit the wall behind him and was pinned there with dark energy.

"Don't touch me" She growled at him with all four eyes blazing red.

"Woah, Rae, it's ok, i wasn't going to hurt you, tell rage if she wants a rematch, no powers." Beast Boy said, but something wasn't right. he just couldn't put his finger on it. it wasn't that she didn't want to be called Raven, it wasn't that she had thrown him against a wall, and it wasn't that she had disappeared after a fight. (He was getting more and more used to weird stuff happening since he woke up after the fight with Dr. Light.) that was when it hit him.

As soon as she released him with a bewildered look, he grabbed her hand this time. she was about to pull away, but he looked her directly in the eyes, and saw fear. not fear of a spider, or fear of drowning. but fear of entering the unknown, fear of judgement, fear of rejection.

"It's ok. i'm not going to hurt you Rae."

"Chel." She deadpanned. eyes no longer as fearful, but she was still tense.

He reached up and pulled her sleeve up her arm, and as she winced, he gasped.

 **Sorry for so long between updates, real life happened, and i just ran out of time. i have been working on this chapter every chance i had, getting a sentence in here and there when time permitted. thank you all for reading, i hope you enjoy. and for all those who think i own anything, try again. if i owned the Teen Titans, it most definitely wouldn't have been canceled, and many things would be different. i guess that's why i don't. oh, and if anybody figures out what is going on in the long run not with just the end of this chapter, keep it to yourself, so that others can have a chance.**


	6. Chapter 6

Beast Boy went into defensive mode. his eyes dilated, his ears twitched, every muscle in his body went rigid, he bared his teeth.

"who did this to you?" he growled through clenched teeth. he saw the lines crisscrossing her arm, and assumed both were like that. the scars had to have been from too many at one time to heal all of them, or else they would never had showed up like this. She healed too quickly. even life threatening injuries only left her drained.

"I will destroy those that have picked this form of attack on anybody." he said, not noticing the look of horror on her face. he only realized something had changed when she pulled her wrist away from his grip, and phased away.

 _Wake up garfield, wake up._

There it was again. except this time he was wide awake, and she had just left. why didn't she just say it to his face? why was all this happening? What were those scars from? why did it seem like she was afraid of him?

All these questions zooming around in his head, he didn't even realize Cyborg had picked him up and was carrying him the the car over his shoulder till he was thrown into the back seat.

That was also when he noticed being stuck between Starfire and the blonde who would not stop talking to him, but he wasn't listening to a word being said in the vehicle. his mind had overheated and couldn't handle anymore crazy stuff. therefore, he passed out.

When he finally awoke, he found himself in his own room, on his own bed. the familiar scent of brimstone, lavender, and old books wafting over him from his over-crowded desk.

 _deja vu man. that was weird. i'm not even going to acknowledge that for now._ He walked out into the hallway expecting to run into raven glowering at him for getting in her way. But she wasn't there. he walked to the common room, and what he saw made him turn red with anger.

"Come on Mr. Tomato, join in the fun, come play a game with us." Terra said cheerfully.

"Mr. Tomato?" Cy asked not understanding the connection.

"Yeah, Green at first, Then when it matures it turns red. Although, i think he might need a bit more maturing still." she said with a huge grin. and of course cy was about to blow a servo laughing so hard and wondering out loud why he didn't think of it first.

"Do you not remember what she did? You all act like you never knew what she did! Like she is welcome back without question. What is wrong with all of you?!"

By the last sentence he was yelling almost at the top of his lungs.

Every person in the room was speechless. except Cyborg who was still rolling on the ground laughing hard enough to not have heard his words. Beast Boy stormed out of the room back to his room not understanding why she was here. and where was raven? she should have been just as angry as him.

 _You are not a tomato, but if you don't believe me, go look in a mirror._

That stopped him dead in his tracks. those words in his head, were not his own. He knew that voice, he knew that feeling inside his head. what he wasn't prepared for was the pain, the fear, the depth of emotion that he felt knocked the wind out of him. he staggered to his room and locked the door behind him, not trusting himself to not go ballistic on her again. He didn't know why she was welcomed again, but he wouldn't lose his temper again, at least until he figured out what was going on. his nose told him a good place to start. as his eyes scanned the contents of his desk, they finally found what was out of place, and the only object that could hold her scent that well in all this clutter. an intricately carved silver hand mirror with a letter attached to the handle.

He didn't know why it was here, he didn't know why she would bring it to him like this. he wasn't sure he wanted to know just yet. Everything that was going on was starting to wear out the overweight hamster in his mind, and it really needed a break. _well, back to instinct for a while until something clicks._ he thought as he changed into a falcon for the speed and the ability to focus on everything and nothing at the same time. He flew. The sun set. He flew. The sun rose. He flew. He decided he wouldn't land until he figured it out. animals made sense, people were strange. he knew how to deal with animals, whether they were in his DNA or out and about. he remembered one time when they were tracking slade through the amazon, a jaguar had taken Rae by surprise, and before she could react he had changed into one himself, and tackled it into the underbrush. after he explained the human that smelt of darkness was a friend, he was able to get some details on slade and his minions, returning to a furious Rae that was about to rip him a new one for, as she put it "frolicking with the natives". He almost missed the days where she would throw him out of windows and yell at him compared to this running and hiding from him. She was the one person who kept him from taking things too far with his pranks. _which means, no holds barred against the walking lightpole and tin can man, haha!_ he thought to himself, his mood lightened a bit.

 _Always the jokester huh?_ he heard her voice, and felt her pain. _You know you could be a great inventor if you put your mind to it instead of the stupid pranks you pull. you could help others by making things that will save people instead of just getting a laugh out of life._

 _She doesn't get it. i will show her. it's the only way i know. i can't explain, but i can show her, i can_ **show** _her why i do what i do._ He thought with determination. he knew what he had to do. No matter where she was in the city, he would find her, and show her what he couldn't tell her.

He changed his course to fly lower to spot her better in the crowds and alleys where she was likely to hide. _Let the hunter become the hunted_ he thought as he picked up her trail going down between a goth looking store and a bar.

 **So again, i don't own anything, and the tomato joke? anybody read it before? it's from a story called Box of Little White Lies by CleoArrow. go read it, it's a funny and serious and insightful and excellent read. go read it. and while there, read some of the rest of the stories, they are very well written. and i have to say thanks to CleoArrow for giving me permission to use that in my story. i have been through this chapter a few times, and it won't turn out exactly how i want it, but i hope you all enjoy it. more to come as soon as i can.**


	7. Chapter 7

He found her after following her trail through five more neighborhoods, two malls, and three coffee shops. He lost her trail more times than he cared to count. He found her after following her scent behind a dumpster, through a tunnel, and then had to turn into a roach to climb the wall and slip through a crack almost too small for him to squeeze through. She was crying. He never thought he would ever see her cry. But her she was, crying her eyes out, with random objects flying about her head. His heart broke. Every fiber of his being was aching to hold her, to make everything better. He changed back to normal. Before he could utter a word he was thrown against the wall and held there.

"What are you doing here? Why did you follow me? How did you find me? Who do you think you are?" She growled at me with all four eyes glowing with an ominous glow.

"Um…. which one do you want me to answer first?" He asked shakily. "That's a lot of questions to answer all at once."

"ANSWER THEM NOW." She growled through clenched teeth.

"I'm here to help you for one, B. I didn't follow you exactly, three, I found your trail, and last, but not least, I'm pretty sure I'm an attractive, green, good looking, smart, funny, and did I mention green dude." he said with a huge grin and wiggling his eyebrows.

She looked at him like he had just grown three more heads. Slowly the glow from her eyes faded and the spare set (as he liked to think of them) disappeared after a few minutes. She lowered him to the ground but didn't release him from her magic, but just stood there, staring at him, with the look he knew all too well. It was the look that said, "is he really that stupid?" Yup, he knew that look. The minutes seemed to drag on, but he didn't want to upset her again, so he just stayed there, silent. But he was looking around at the room. There was a shabby bed against one wall, there was books, lots of them, and candles. Just ordinary candles. The last thing he noticed was how cold it was in here, it felt like a freezer, and smelt of fish. He couldn't hold back anymore and was about to ask about the fish when to his surprise, she spoke first.

"What makes you think I need or even want your help? I did fine by myself up to this point."

He thought about his response for a long minute before responding.

"Want? you never want my help, doesn't stop me from trying to give it when you need it, like the time that dragon broke your heart, or the time that you wanted to get back at Cy for pranking you with the pink dye in your laundry, or the time….."

"What are you talking about? I've always been alone, nobody ever wants to help me, and they just want to use me and what I can do."

He winced at the venom in her voice. He knew some of her past, but like all of them, they didn't like sharing all the horrors they have had to endure.

"You're never alone. Not ever. You can always come to me, no matter what; you know that, don't you?"

"What do you know about living through horrors and being alone? You are the jokester of your little group. Everybody knows that. You don't know anything about my life, so again, I ask, why do you think I want your help?"

He gulped, hoping he would survive to see the daylight again.

"Um, because I know more about what you have been through than just about anybody else in any dimension that I know of, and I have been used before too, because of my abilities, and what I can do." he said as he lowered his head.

"Can you release my arms, please? Then I will show you what happened when I refused or didn't do exactly what they wanted."

She released her hold on his arms, but he felt the black tendrils around his legs tighten.

"This isn't something everybody knows, so please don't tell the others. Cy knows, but he knows I don't want anybody else to know." he didn't even look at her as he pulled his shirt over his head. He knew that his whole torso, including his back, was covered in scars. From small ones less than a half-inch long, to the one that went from his left shoulder to his right hip on his back and almost two inches wide.

What he wasn't expecting was her response. She gasped and released the hold on his legs, which he wasn't expecting, causing him to fall flat on his face.

"Ow." he said climbing to his feet.

He looked up at her and saw concern in her eyes, which wasn't like her. Maybe she has amnesia? He thought.

"So yeah, I'm not without pain in my past. But I know you have had it worse than me. Will you tell me about the scars on your arms now? that is the main reason I came after you, not to scare you, or to attack you, but just to make sure you were ok, and that, I don't know, I'm not good at these kinds of things. I just knew I had to find you. Had to find my dark angel." He slapped his hand over his mouth at that last part, which was not meant to slip out.

He looked to her to see her sitting on the shabby bed, holding her knees to her chest, with a far off look in her eyes, like she wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. He was about to wave his arms in front of her to see if she fell asleep with her eyes open or not when she spoke, barely above a whisper, but she was paying such close attention to her, he heard every word.

"I did this to myself."

"Can I ask why?" he asked, his voice no louder than the yawn of a mouse.

"To punish myself, every time I hurt someone, especially with my… abilities as you put it, I do it to remind myself not to try to make things better for others, since I just make it worse."

He had slowly been moving closer to her, and now he was close enough to sit on the bed next to her. He reached a hand towards her to try and comfort her, but she flinched as soon as he got close, so he dropped his hand to the mattress.

"You are half demon, with very powerful abilities, you have to keep your emotions separate from you, in a way, so you don't lose control, and you read books to be able to know more to be able to help others better. What makes you think you need to be punished?"

"H-How did you know I'm half demon?" She asked as she was trying to slide away from him without him noticing.

"You told me, years ago when we first met. In fact, you even said I was kind of funny too, but that was the last time you said so. So since then, I have done everything I could to make you laugh, or at least smile, but I'm not very good at it….."

He was going to go on for a while, but his communicator went off and opening it, he saw Robin's stern face on the screen.

Thanks for hanging in there guys. Had a glitch last week which erased everything I had. But here you go, the next chapter. Again I don't own anything. Although, I wish I did, but I don't. enjoy, let me know what you think, and I'm out of here.


	8. Chapter 8

Again, I don't own anything, if I did, it would be very different. Enjoy, and please let me know what you guys think.

"Where are you at? And why haven't you come back to the tower or checked in?" Robin asked.

Beast Boy looked around and rubbed the back of his neck "Um, I'm working on a project that's kind of personal. I will be back soon though, but what's the big deal? What's going on?" He asked rather confused.

"We need to have a team meeting over a new team member. And as seeing as you're the only one not here, we can't start without you."

"Um rob; wouldn't it help if we asked her first if she wanted to join instead of just assuming?"

"Beast Boy, she was the one who asked me to let her join, I didn't ask her."

"Uh-oh." Beast Boy knew only one person that bold. And he also knew nothing good was going to come of it. "I'm on my way, be there as soon as I can rob, Beast Boy out."

He looked to raven who looked like she was trying not to listen in, but due to the small space, there was no chance of that happening. He knew what he had to do, but not how to ask.

 _Let's go._

His jaw hit the floor.

 _I knew what you were going to ask before you even thought about it. You don't like her, something about a betrayal your friends don't know about, and they don't believe you. Not to mention you didn't try to either perform an exorcism on me, or run away screaming, so that's a plus._

He was glad to be hearing her voice in his head again, and it not just telling him to wake up. That was starting to get old. He looked around for an exit he could walk out of instead of squeezing through the crack again, but didn't see anything. So he started walking towards the wall, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. As he turned to look, he felt his feet lurch underneath his and his vision go black. Next thing he knows, he's standing in the alley where he had followed her after the battle with cinderblock. Now having done this hundreds of times, not to mention while shifting in the middle of battle, he was very familiar with it, so as soon as he had his bearings he started walking out of the alley.

" _Wait."_

That stopped him in his tracks. He both felt _and_ heard that. He slowly turned to see why she chose both to communicate with him. The look on her face was of udder confusion.

"Um, Rae, you ok?" He asked not trusting he would like the answer.

"Chel."

"Huh?"

"My name is Rachel. Not Rae, not Raven, its Rachel."

"OK, but my question still stands, you ok?"

"I just teleported you without telling you what I was doing, if we were even going to stay in the same dimension, or if you would even see the light of day again, and you just stroll away like it's an everyday way to travel. So what is going on? Are you from a different dimension? A different timeline? Maybe an alien like the one that one that met with me last spring? Or are you a demon sent by father to convince me to work for him again?" She looked at him, and stopped talking.

"No nothing like what you listed, especially not working for Trigon. But something is going on here, and I want to know what. Let's get to the tower; can you keep up if I fly?"

"Keep up? Without even trying."

 _That's my dark angel._ He thought to himself, hoping she wasn't listening to his thoughts.

 _Right like I can pick and choose which thoughts I listen to._ He heard in his head as she changed into a falcon.

Busted.

He kept his mind on flying and what was going on at the tower so as not to let anything slip again.

They landed soon enough and walked inside to find everyone lounging in the common room. Including Terra.

"Alright Rob, I'm here, but I would like to talk to you about something first." Beast Boy said.

"Sorry Beast Boy, but this will have to wait, um, who is she?" Robin motioned the Raven as he turned from the T.V.

"That's what I need to talk yo-" He stopped midsentence due to his angel talking to him in his head.

 _He's not going to listen to you, he has his mind made up, and it won't matter if you protest or not, he just wanted to see how you would vote._

"You OK?" Robin asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm good." He responded, his head still spinning from what he just heard.

"OK, Ladies, if you wouldn't mind stepping outside for a few minutes so we can have a team meeting, I would appreciate it." He said gesturing to the door. "Not you Star, you are part of the team that needs to discuss things."

"Oh, OK."

"Now Beast Boy, we are thinking about adding a member to the team, and we were thinking about it being Terra. But since you are part of this team too, I would like your opinion, and, as it seems like it might cause some conflict, I'm not sure you bringing that other girl here was such a great idea."

Before Beast Boy could respond, an explosion rocked the tower, and two shapely female figures fell through the ceiling.

"You dirt loving rock head!"

"You Witch!"

 _Uh-oh._ Beast boy knew exactly what was about to go down, and he knew there wasn't anywhere in this universe, no scratch that, this dimension that would be safe from her wrath.

Raven turned to him and without another word, passed through the floor, gone. Everybody looked around waiting to see if she was just hiding, and the fight would continue.

"BEAST BOY! Explain, NOW!"

Robin was pissed, he didn't care. He was about to attack Terra for saying such a thing to her, when he hears her voice in the back of his skull, buzzing like a very pissed wasp.

 _Don't worry about it, it wasn't the first time I heard that, and it won't be the last. But I had to get out of there. Apparently you know and accept my darker half, but I doubt they ever could. She proved that when we walked up to the roof together, and she couldn't stop talking about how she has you wrapped around every one of her fingers. I mentioned you didn't like her, you liked me more, and I'm half demon, which to me meant she must have done something pretty bad. She attacked me after that. I don't think they will like me, but you can visit if you want._

His heart sank. While he was listening to what Rae was saying, apparently they were having a conference about what happened.

"A demon? You're kidding me right? Beast Boy did you know about this?"

"Half demon. Her father is a demon, her mother, well, I'm not too sure actually. Although I'm pretty sure she's human, or at least close to it. Why are you freaking out like this robin?"

"I'm not freaking out; I am upset that you brought that, that, that thing into our home!"

He almost lost it. It took all his will power to not deck Robin. He liked Robin, he admired him, but right now, he didn't want to be anywhere near him. He turned and looked through the roof of the tower, thinking about what was going to happen next.

"The way I see it Rob, I have two choices. I don't like option one, but plan b is even worse. I will let you know what I decide."

He turned into a seagull, took of over the water, and as soon as he was sure he was out of sight, dove for the water, as he went under, a green blue whale (A teal whale?) could be seen diving for the depths.


	9. Chapter 9

I own nothing! So don't go pinning it on me. Also, if anybody asks, I was never here.

After two days of swimming, and the numerous times his communicator went off, he finally surfaced near the tower. He knew nothing major happened while he was down there; Aqualad wasn't the only one who could talk to fish, who talked to the crabs, who heard the gossip from the gulls, who spied on the eagles, who kept an eye on the city at Beast Boys request.

 _Are you sure about this?_ He heard in his head. Even with being a fish, she could still talk to him if she chose, and she chose to talk to him. He wasn't sure which confused him more, that she sought him out, or that she hadn't severed the connection yet.

 _Yes I'm sure. I can't be around her for one, and the way they attacked you, no. I don't know what they are thinking, but I'm not going to be part of it. Not if my voice means nothing._

His anger was boiling, but he did his level best not to show it. He walked up to the door and taped the letter to it. He didn't want to see the disappointment in Robin's eyes, the tears in stars, or the disbelief in his best friend's sole human eye. He knew if he didn't do this now and this way, he would lose it and hurt everyone worse than just leaving. He morphed into a falcon and flew east, towards the main part of the city.

 _Where can I go? I know I can go to Rita, but Steve? He would never understand. I still have the account my parents left me, but I don't want to stop helping those who need it. Maybe I need to figure myself out first._

As he flew across the city he barely noticed when a dark flat circle hovering just to his left keeping perfect pace with him. His mind was in turmoil, spinning out of control, he didn't even see what direction he was heading. That was until he flew full speed straight into a cliff face. He started to fall, but didn't fall far. A few feet below where he hit, was a black disk with raven staring down at him, a look of amusement on her face.

"It's Rachel by the way. You seem to keep forgetting that." She said as she crossed her arms.

 _No, but what I want to call you makes you even angrier at me._ He replied in his mind, still looking like a much disheveled green bird.

And at that very moment two things happened at almost the same time. The first was one hell of an explosion going off in Jump City. The second was his communicator was going nuts. He didn't want to deal with it, but he still cared about this city, and for his friends. He morphed back into his human form and flipped it open to see CY looking back at him.

"Dude, what's going on? Cinderblock kicking your butts again?" he asked with more than a little sarcasm in his voice.

"BB, we need your help, we are facing Adonis and some new dude named Slade. And this new dude seems to have brought robots with him. We need all the help we can get; even that girl you brought the other day is welcome to join the fray if she wishes. We are badly outnumbered, and could use a t-rex right about now, especially a very green one." He sounded like he really meant it.

Beast Boy looked at raven the question plainly written on his face, and she nodded. It was go time.

"Hang in there CY; we are on the way, just hold on a few more minutes."

By the time he was done speaking, he was standing right next to a very pale Cyborg.

"We got Adonis; you guys take Slade, and watch your back with Terra. She may just betray you to him again." He said as he raced away towards Adonis.

The battle with Adonis took hours. Beast Boy would morph into a tiger and attack, some of his blows would land, and most did not. Adonis would get a hold of him and throw him against a wall. While he was recovering, Raven would attack throwing anything and everything she could at him until he swatted her away. Beast Boy soon realized they weren't getting anywhere and had to come up with a new plan, but anytime one of them went down, the other would have to distract him, so on the battle went. Beast Boy could hear the battle with Slade, and it sounded like they weren't having much better luck. Beast Boy was distracted between going to help the others, and taking down Adonis, when he heard her scream. He changed into an elephant and charged Adonis with everything he had, knocking him into a wall, and dazing him. He knew he should probably secure the criminal, even though he didn't know what he was even doing here, but he had to check on his dark angel first. And as he morphed back he saw and smelled the blood. Too much blood.

RACHEL! NO!" he screamed as he ran to her side.

He kneeled beside her, rolling her onto her back, and into his arms. The blood was everywhere. It was already soaking through his shirt. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He couldn't take his eyes off of the angry red rents torn through her perfect grey skin.

"It's going to be alright, you just need to heal yourself, be strong, go into your trance, I will make sure you are protected while you do it." He said through tears streaming down his face.

He was ready to get up and fight for her life, but as he went to lay her down on the street, she grasped his shirt and wouldn't let go. He tried to pry her fingers off, but she had an iron grip.

"I have to go, but only for a short time, I will be back."

She pulled him closer. And in his mind he heard, _Beast Boy, I'm too far gone. My healing won't help; it won't do any good to keep trying. But before I go, there is one thing I want you to know, I love you, and I have been falling for you since the day I met you. Don't let anybody tell you that you aren't funny, and don't let anybody hurt you as bad as I have. Good bye Garfield._

As her last thought echoed through his mind, her body faded to a thin black smoke, drifting away, and being absorbed through the concrete.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Beast Boy screamed as he stood.

He heard someone running up behind him, and as he turned to look, he realized robin was upon him.

"You were right, she betrayed us, just as soon as it looked like we had the upper hand, she turned and attacked us. I'm sorry we didn't believe you before Beast Boy. Wait, is that your blood?" He asked alarmed.

"It's not mine, but I need you to do me a favor as a leader, as a friend, and as a protector of this city." Beast Boy replied.

"What is it? Are you sure you're ok?"

"No, and I won't be, I want you to remember me, remember me for centuries, just not like this. Never like this."

He turned from robin and started strolling towards Adonis as the villain had just started to get to his feet. When he was within striking distance, he hit him with the strongest uppercut he could manage, but that only made Adonis laugh. He knew only one way to truly take down Adonis, and he wanted him to feel pain for what he had done to Raven. Beast Boy decided he didn't care anymore; he just wanted Adonis to pay. So he did the unthinkable.

He let the beast free. He gave the beast full reign of control. Beast Boy wanted him to suffer, Adonis took the love of his life away, and therefore he forfeited his own life. As the rain started to fall heavier and heavier, the beast landed blow after blow on Adonis. The Beast used his claws to rent huge chunks of armor off, then to tear through his flesh and muscles. Adonis was Begging to be taken to jail. He didn't stop. He didn't stop until there was very little left of Adonis, and not one bit was still alive. At seeing that his foe was defeated, the beast receded back inside to slumber.

As Beast Boy came back, he fell to his knees as his head was spinning. He got his bearings and looked around. He saw what was left of Adonis, and started stumbling backwards shaking his head. He turned to run, but something caught his eye, looking down at it, he realized it was Raven's silver mirror. As he was reaching down to it, he felt a familiar pull from it. He knew what that meant, but he wasn't sure what would happen with Raven gone, so he resisted the pull. It didn't help. He was sucked into the inky blackness and fell until he blacked out.

Beast boy could hear a beeping. It was a constant thing and he wished it would shut up. He was trying to sleep. Then all the memories of what had happened came flooding back to him. He opened his eyes and sat bolt upright. He looked around, realizing he was in the med bay in the tower, and the beeping was his heart monitor. The next thing he realized was that he wasn't secured to the gurney in any way. And he could smell her blood all around him, her scent was on him, and she was dead.

Ok, Lost is finished. This was an undertaking for me, as it was my first published story, and I started it at a really busy time in my life. But thank you to all that have stuck around to read the whole thing; I hope you will stick around for the sequels. If not, then you will never know about the doughnuts and whoopy cushion incident. So stick around, grab a doughnut (if you can find one around this place) pull up a seat, and enjoy. 


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